Look, I’m gonna say it: Marketing is a mess
I’ve been in this industry for over 20 years. Twenty. Years. That’s 214 months of dealing with the same old crap, over and over. I started back in 1999, at a tiny agency in Seattle. Let’s call my boss Marcus. Marcus was a nightmare. He’d say things like, “Linda, we need more engagement!” But then he’d never tell me what the hell that actually meant.
And honestly, not much has changed. We’re still throwing around buzzwords like they mean something. “Synergy.” “Disruption.” “Paradigm shift.” Ugh. Make it stop.
I was at a conference in Austin last year, and some “guru” was talking about “leveraging core competencies to drive actionable insights.” I turned to my friend Sarah and said, “What the hell does that even mean?” She just shrugged and said, “Beats me. But it sounds important, right?”
Social media is a black hole of nonsense
Let’s talk about social media. It’s a completley different beast than it was 10 years ago. Back then, it was simple. You posted stuff, people liked it or they didn’t. Now? It’s a nightmare of algorithms and “influencers” and “stories” and “go live” and… I can’t even.
I had a client last Tuesday who wanted me to “go viral.” I said, “I can’t promise that. Nobody can.” He looked at me like I was an idiot. “But you’re the expert,” he said. Yeah, buddy. And experts don’t make miracles happen.
And don’t get me started on the whole “personal branding” thing. I met this guy at a coffee shop on 5th. Let’s call him Dave. Dave told me he was a “thought leader” in his industry. I asked, “What industry is that?” He said, “Digital transformation.” I said, “What the hell is that?” He didn’t have an answer. Which… yeah. Fair enough.
SEO is a never-ending game of whack-a-mole
SEO. Oh, SEO. I’ve been doing this since the early 2000s. Back then, it was all about keywords and meta tags. Now? It’s about “user intent” and “semantic search” and “E-A-T” and… I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
I was talking to a colleague named Priya about three months ago. She said, “Linda, you gotta get on board with this new stuff.” I said, “I’m trying, but it’s like they change the rules every five minutes.” She laughed and said, “Welcome to the club.”
And look, I get it. The internet is always changing. But it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even recognize it anymore. It’s like they’re speaking a different language. And honestly, I’m not sure I wanna learn it.
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A tangent: Why I hate influencers
Okay, so this isn’t exactly about marketing, but whatever. I hate influencers. I can’t stand them. They’re all fake and plastic and… ugh. I was at a party last month, and this “influencer” was there. Let’s call her Jessica. Jessica was talking about how she “curates content” and “builds community.” I said, “Jessica, you just take pictures of your lunch and post them online.” She didn’t appreciate that. But it’s true.
And the worst part? People actually listen to these idiots. They buy what they’re selling. They think they’re important. It’s ridiculous.
Branding is just… yeah.
Branding. It’s important, I guess. I mean, I get it. You wanna stand out, you wanna be memorable. But it’s all gotten so… corporate. So sterile. So… boring.
I was working with a client last year. They wanted a “bold, disruptive brand.” I said, “What does that even look like?” They didn’t know. Nobody knows. It’s all just words.
And the logos. Oh, the logos. Every time I see another “minimalist” logo with some weird symbol and a sans-serif font, I wanna scream. It’s all the same. It’s all generic. It’s all… nothing.
So what’s the answer?
I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t. Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe marketing is just always gonna be a mess. Maybe we’re all just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it.
But I’ll tell you one thing. I’m not gonna pretend it’s not broken. I’m not gonna pretend I have all the answers. And I’m definitely not gonna pretend that the next big thing is gonna save us all.
So here’s to another 20 years of this nonsense. Cheers, everybody.
Author Bio: Linda Harris has been a senior editor at various major publications for over 20 years. She’s seen it all, done it all, and has the scars to prove it. When she’s not complaining about marketing trends, she can be found yelling at her cat or drinking whiskey. Probably both at the same time.
